skip to Main Content

Getting rid of negative people… Seriously?

In the last couple of years I have been seeing, in social media, quite regularly one of those quick-fix wisdom statements, that goes something like this: “The key to happiness is in getting rid of negative people in your life, as they are sucking your energy, etc etc etc…”

Now, first thing: isn’t the above a rather negative statement in itself? You know, labeling other people as negative and then trying to get rid of them… So, should I now label a person that just made this statement as negative and try to get rid of them. And then they will do the same to me… What a wonderful world this will be.

But putting this paradox aside, I wonder who are the individuals being labeled as negative, energy sucking entities… As much as I know about life, I would say they are human beings with wounds, pain, scars, fears, traumas… Pretty much like everybody else among us. They have been hurt, disappointed, frightened, conditioned and now they are doing their best to cope with the complexity of their lives.

Instead of labeling them as negative (or whatever else, for that matter), I would prefer to see them in their humanness, in their wounded and innocent hearts, in their attempts to meet their needs and lick their wounds in the best way they can. If I don’t see them in their innocence, then I might end up having difficulties to also embrace my own innocence, as our nature in essence really is the same. Or, as Ramana Maharshi put it clearly: “There are no others.”

Of course, I also want to learn how to walk through life so that I care for my own heart, for my own aliveness. I want to learn to say no, with clarity and compassion, in order to care for my needs for peace, ease, silence, quietness, mutuality, balance…

Yes, balance! It seems that it all boils down to finding balance, does it not? Caring for, nurturing, embracing and fully surrendering to the flow of life in a balanced way, that will nourish this flow even further.

Instead of cutting out all aspects of life that I happen to not agree with, to not like.