So, an old story says that, long, long time ago, there was a man (sic!) out there, on a long journey that took him through many unknown lands. He was following, on his horse, a barely recognizable path through a thick forest, which was getting darker and darker and he found himself entrapped by the darkest night, not being able to see an inch in front of his nose, let alone to follow the path. Feeling hopeless and in despair, he got off his horse and started tiptoeing around… Suddenly it seemed to him that he saw a dim light not too far away, among trees, and started to make his way through the bushes towards it. Finally, bruised and very edgy, he reached a small wooden cabin and knocked on the door.
After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and there was this little and very old woman, with long white hair, wide-open blue eyes and a smiling face: “Well good evening to you, stranger. What can I do for you?” The traveler responded: “I lost my way, completely, and need help. Can I come in?” The old lady responded, with a heart opening smile: “Well, my dear friend, I cannot invite you in as this cabin is big enough for one person only, yet I trust that someday you will have your own cabin too. And I cannot come with you and show you the way, as each person needs to find their own way. Yet, there is one thing I can do to help you, namely, I can give you a light to carry with you, and it will help you find and follow your way. Just give me a moment to find it.”
She closed the door and disappeared for what seemed an eternity, in search of the light to give him – which is quite remarkable given the size of the tiny cabin. Anyway, she opened the door again and offered him, with a joyful smile on her face, a tiny little lantern. The traveler responded in disbelief: “Lady, are you serious? This lantern throws light but a step or so. How will I ever find my way with this crap?” The old lady responded, with sparks in her old yet very alive eyes: “Oooooh, young man, but this is all you need, you see… This lantern will light one step in front of you, and once you cover this one step, you will see another step in front of you, and this way you will, step by step, cover great distances and eventually find your way and your happiness.”
I often get reminded of this story when I find myself facilitating group meetings, mediating in conflicts or when I myself get entrapped in a difficult and disconnected place with my partner. Everything seems dark, no solution anywhere near the sight. This story reminds me of a key ingredient that ensures evolution in such moments, an ingredient that I am still learning to fully integrate into my life: trusting the field.
Namely, from the place of disconnection, from the realm of a problem, of stuckness, I cannot see the solution and in most cases not even a step forward. In fact this goes for everybody involved. We are all caught within the framework of our limited minds and we have exhausted all there was to exhaust in this room. So the frustration and stuckness grows, and nothing new can enter…
But if I choose to trust the field enough to leave the cozy little safe world of “me” and start listening, with all my heart, to the longing that sits in your heart and you have been trying to, to the best of your momentary capacity, express to me, and if I start listening, in all my honesty, to what is the longing in my own heart that is behind all the thoughts I have been having, I will start hearing the deeper meaning that wants to emerge through us. In fact, we all will. And if we start, in all our humble authenticity, letting this new meaning express itself through us, the realm of possibilities will start opening up in this field of ours and slowly, step by step, begin revealing itself to us. Then we will see what we cannot see now, and this new depth will be including all the partial aspects, and transcending them all into a new, truly integrated possibilities.
So, all there is for me to do, in the above situations as well as actually in every moment of my life, is to listen compassionately to your beautiful hearts and express my own, in sheer and humble honesty, and thus keep our field pure and open. And to trust this field in a sense that I keep listening to it attentively in order to hear what wants to be revealed. Then we will integrate it, learn from it, listen to it, and yet another step will be revealed. And so, step by step, moment by moment, revelation by revelation, we keep journeying through this mystery of life.